Do you fancy taking on a potential employee, illustrator or copywriter who is creative, meticulous and eloquent? Then read on.
If you are reading this drivel, then you might have enjoyed some of the 1,951 posts which have been beautifully crafted for East of the M60 since 2006. As the creator of this blog is a free agent, have you considered the idea of working with him, as a possible full-time or part-time colleague, or in a self-employed capacity?
If you are looking for someone who can think differently, do highly detailed drawings, and co-write two episodes of a groundbreaking children’s television series, you have come to the right place. My other talents include:
- Public Speaking: I have compèred nearly 100 brass band concerts at Boarshurst Band Club since September 2017 and written my own scripts. From 2005 to 2009, I have spoken about my experiences with an autism spectrum condition across the UK, in front of audiences from three to 300 people.
- Poetry: I have performed and written my own poems since 2003. Since 2014, I have been the Poet Laureate of Stalybridge Celtic Football Club, with my poems being shown on the First Team’s dressing room wall. They have also been published in the Bower Bulletin, Stalybridge Celtic’s match day programme since the 2015 – 2016 season.
- Writing: I am a published author as well as the co-writer of two episodes of Paper Owl Films’ Pablo TV series. I have contributed to two books: Asperger Syndrome and Employment: Adults Speak Out About Asperger Syndrome (Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2008) and Bus Pass Britain (Bradt Travel Guides, 2011).
I can also…
- Work with proprietary and open source content management systems with a strong working knowledge of WordPress;
- Code in XHTML/HTML/CSS languages;
- Understand JQuery, Responsive Design, cross-browser compatibility, HTML5 and CSS3;
- Work with Adobe Photoshop and similar photo manipulation packages, whether installed or cloud-based;
- Use keyword research tools to determine effective keyword phrases which suit the client and its customers;
- Undertake copywriting for internal company communications and small to medium sized businesses;
- Create and maintain weblogs using Blogger and WordPress (such as this one with an average of 300 daily readers);
- Submit websites to leading directories.
I am also…
- Passionate about cross-browser compatibility and the importance of solid content which captivates readers as well as search engine directories;
- Experienced with Microsoft Office applications in installed and cloud-based forms. I also have further experience with Google Drive and similar proprietary software like LibreOffice.
Whilst I am away from the office, I would like to let my hair down by…
- Taking the odd bus picture;
- Reading the odd bus or rail book, or something slightly heavier (like two bus books);
- Watching The Mighty Stalybridge Celtic home and away;
- Enjoying my local countryside on foot, particularly around Mossley and Saddleworth;
- Listening to Supertramp, Half Man Half Biscuit, Genesis, The Fall and Black Dyke Brass Band. It isn’t unusual for me to listen to something by Phil Collins as well as an arrangement by Philip Harper;
- Travelling on the world’s most expensive rail network for the sole purpose of visiting such exotic places like Kingston-upon-Hull, Scarborough and Middlesbrough. I have yet to do the Caledonian Sleeper, which is an item on my travel-related bucket list.
Before I leave this world, I would like to…
- Go island hopping along the Inner and Outer Hebrides;
- Do the Trans-Siberian Railway, going all the way from Stalybridge to Vladivostok;
- Corner the market in making geeky greetings cards featuring brutalist architecture and buses.
“Pennies, Nickels, Dimes, Quarters, Dollar Bills… Hundred Dollar Bills…”
Whether I need to get new materials for a bespoke Christmas card, two loaves of bread or a Belarusian transit visa, they all come with a monetary cost. Therefore I need something that would finance all this and keep my head above water. Something that Jeremy Kyle used to cajole his guests to do each morning.
A job. Employment. Full time or part time, ideally permanent or temporary, but none of this Zero Hour Contract nonsense. I am also open to freelance openings. Something which best fits my skills, as detailed above. Ideally in Greater Manchester, though parts of West Yorkshire are commutable and could be considered.
If you’re interested in taking on the challenge as my next employer (or wish to have a few original illustrations), you won’t be disappointed. I am reliable, precise and a boon to any workplace, both in terms of my hardworking nature and character. At work, my diligence, creativity and conscientiousness will be an asset to your company. At play, I am humorous, clever, creative and sharp.
I am looking for work within the following areas:
- IT and Internet consultancy;
- Search engine optimisation;
- Creative media;
Tell Me More…!
If you would like to consider employing me as your future public speaker, web consultant, illustrator, copywriter, or SEO guru, you could do no worse than visiting my website and emailing me from there. I shall get back to you and send you the latest copy of my CV. You never know: something good could come from this.
One more thing…
Stuart Vallantine, 26 November 2019.