Why Hire Stuart Vallantine?

It seems appropriate to find an unemployed SEO consultant advertising his credentials online. The genius behind East of the M60, Stuart Vallantine, has assumed the position of Redundant SEO Consultant. And he’s hungry for work.

In Search Engine Optimisation, he can:

  • Work with proprietary and open source content management systems;
  • Code in XHTML/HTML/CSS languages;
  • Understand JQuery, Responsive Design, cross-browser compatibility, HTML5 and CSS3;
  • Work with Adobe Photoshop and similar photo manipulation packages;
  • Use keyword research tools to determine effective keyword phrases which suit the client and its customers;
  • Undertake copywriting for internal company communications and small to medium sized businesses;
  • Create and maintain weblogs using Blogger and WordPress (such as this one with an average of 300 daily readers);
  • Submit websites to leading directories.

Most of this is scratching the surface of this fellow’s abilities. Besides SEO, he is also:

  • Able to speak in front of audiences from 3 to 300 people, from Stalybridge to Stourbridge on autism spectrum disorders or creative works;
  • An avid transport photographer, au fait with XP2, Velvia, SmartMedia and SD as well as composition, the Sunny 16 rule and the Rule of Thirds;
  • An illustrator of heavily detailed drawings, inspired by post-1945 architecture;
  • Able to write the odd poem or three on a variety of subjects which takes his fancy;
  • Passionate about cross-browser compatibility and the importance of solid content which captivates readers as well as search engine directories.

Yet outside his more professional and cross-curricular activities, this person also has a life and likes to let his hair down by:

  • Taking the odd bus picture;
  • Reading the odd bus or rail book, or something slightly heavier (like two bus books);
  • Watching The Mighty Stalybridge Celtic home and away;
  • Enjoying his local countryside on foot, particularly around Mossley and Saddleworth;
  • Listening to Supertramp, Half Man Half Biscuit, The Fall and Black Dyke Brass Band among an eclectic range of music he most enjoys;
  • Travelling on the world’s most expensive rail network for the sole purpose of visiting such exotic places like Kingston-upon-Hull, Scarborough and Middlesbrough.

Unfortunately, most of these activities come with a monetary cost, especially the latter. Therefore he needs something that would finance all this and keep his head above water. Something which Jeremy Kyle always cajoles his guests to do each morning.

A job. Employment. Full time or part time, (ideally) permanent or temporary, but none of this Zero Hour Contract nonsense. Something which best fits these skills detailed above.

Most definitely in Greater Manchester, though parts of West Yorkshire are commutable and could be considered.


If you’re interested in taking on the challenge as Stuart Vallantine’s next employer, you won’t be disappointed. He is reliable, precise and a boon to any workplace, both in terms of his hardworking nature and character. At work, he is diligent, creative and conscientious. At play, he is humorous, clever, creative and sharp. You’ll be glad you hired him.

Stuart Vallantine is looking for work within the following areas:

  • IT and Internet consultancy;
  • Copywriting;
  • Search engine optimisation;
  • Creative media;
  • Illustration.

Tell Me More…!

If you would like to consider employing Stuart Vallantine as your future public speaker, web consultant, illustrator, copywriter, or SEO guru, you could do no worse than visiting his website and emailing him from there. He will get back to you and send the latest copy of his CV. Hopefully something might come of this.

You know it makes sense.


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