Guess The Moquette: An Escape to the Pantry Special

Are you as clued up on your bus, train, tram or tube moquette as everybody else at East of the M60 Towers?

Moquette is something we take for granted on our local buses, trains, trams or underground systems. It is that fairly ugly pattern on the seats that is complex enough to hide any stains on your seat.

Strictly speaking, I prefer moquette to PU leather or simulated leather on my local buses. Better still if the pattern is a bespoke one. It is hard wearing, as one can testify, in comparison with the non-moquette cloth covers on some of Northern’s trains. (But that’s an argument for another day).

In the same way as a certain quiz show presented by a Rotherham-born petrolhead, we have a multiple-choice quiz for you. The only difference is it is like a pub quiz picture round for transport geeks. For the next fifteen questions, you will try to answer questions on the moquette itself and/or where you may have seen it in use. Please note that the moquette design is featured before the question.

Before you start, make yourself comfortable with your favourite smartphone, tablet or personal computer. Oh, and no cheating. Feel free to place your answers in the Comments section.

* * *

1. This common moquette design was first used on the rolling stock for which seaside town’s electrification scheme?

  1. Weymouth;
  2. Bournemouth;
  3. Brighton;
  4. Blackpool.

2. This orange and brown moquette was seen on West Yorkshire PTE’s Class 141 Pacer DMUs. The units were also known as what?

  1. Boneshakers;
  2. Back Breakers;
  3. Plodding Monkeys;
  4. Nodding Donkeys.

3. If you boarded a train with this kind of moquette design in the noughties, which of the London stations would you be going to?

  1. Marylebone (Chiltern);
  2. Euston (London Midland);
  3. Victoria (Southeastern);
  4. King’s Cross (East Coast).

4. Which iconic London bus had this moquette design till the early 1990s?

  1. AEC Regent;
  2. AEC Reliance;
  3. AEC Routemaster;
  4. Leyland Atlantean.

5. Which BR sector applied the blue ‘Donkey Stripe’ moquette to its trains in the late 1980s?

  1. Network Southeast;
  2. InterCity;
  3. Provincial Sector;
  4. Parcels.

6. Which operator superseded its orange check moquette with this design, known as ‘salt and pepper’?

  1. National Express;
  2. West Midlands PTE;
  3. Lancashire United;
  4. Greater Manchester Transport.

7. This moquette design by Misha Black was created for which London Underground line?

  1. Circle;
  2. Bakerloo;
  3. District;
  4. Northern.

8. This moquette design was a previous one for Piccadilly line trains. To get from Ealing Broadway to Manchester Piccadilly (in a normal situation), you can…

  1. Change at King’s Cross St. Pancras for a Euston tube and board Avanti West Coast’s service;
  2. Change at Acton Town, get another tube to Heathrow for a flight to Manchester Airport, then a train to Manchester Piccadilly;
  3. Alight at Victoria, transfer to Victoria Coach Station, get a Megabus to Shudehill Interchange and a Free Bus to Manchester Piccadilly;
  4. Do all of the above.

9. In 2009, this moquette pattern became the standard design for which light rail system?

  1. Croydon’s Tramlink;
  2. Greater Manchester’s Metrolink;
  3. Sheffield’s Supertram;
  4. The Midland Metro.

10. This 1960s British Railways moquette shares the same name as what kind of malware?

  1. Worm;
  2. Trojan;
  3. Backdoor;
  4. Rootkit.

11. This 1980s moquette is the First Class version of Network Southeast’s Donkey Stripe. Where else was this moquette seen?

  1. GM Buses’ Express routes;
  2. National Express coaches;
  3. North West Regional Railways’ Class 309s (from Manchester Piccadilly to Birmingham New Street, Stoke-on-Trent and Crewe);
  4. Pennine’s minibuses.

12. This late-1980s InterCity moquette takes its name from which North Sea shipping region?

  1. FitzRoy;
  2. Fastnet;
  3. Forties;
  4. Dogger.

13. If you sat on a seat with this moquette in the late-1980s to early-1990s, which express route would you be travelling on?

  1. Trans-Lancs Express;
  2. Transpennine Express;
  3. Trans-Europe Express;
  4. Von Ryan’s Express.

14. Which circular route would you be travelling on if your seat had this moquette pattern?

  1. The 336 or 337 to Hartshead;
  2. The Circle Line;
  3. Glasgow Subway;
  4. The 11C Outer Circle.

15. Finally, which British Rail sector used this moquette pattern in its Mark II carriages?

  1. Railfreight;
  2. InterCity;
  3. Provincial;
  4. Network Southeast.

* * *

How did you fare?

  • 15: You must have been stalking me on my multifarious journeys. Whether you have or not, pour yourself a celebratory mug of Yorkshire Tea.
  • 11 – 14: Close but no cigar. Still, that doesn’t matter as you haven’t been able to smoke on Greater Manchester’s buses since January 1992. Help yourself to a Kit Kat from the fridge.
  • 7 – 10: Obviously a hard-pressed commuter who last had a seat on a train when Milli Vanilli released Girl You Know It’s True. Grab a Maxpax tea or coffee; they are next to the Pot Noodles in the tall cupboard.
  • 3 – 6: You definitely need to brush up on your moquette. If you are too young to recognise many of them I shall give you the benefit of the doubt. Please accept this copy of the Metro with our compliments.
  • 0 – 2: It’s a shame you didn’t get a decent score. If you wish to learn about The Wonderful World of Moquette, our Duffers’ Guide to Seat Moquette is a good starting point. Help yourself to a Fig Roll.

S.V., 12 April 2020.

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