The Spirit of ‘Monkey Tennis’ Is Alive And Well

On ITV2

Several years back, we used to have a jolly old pop at what daft stuff our neighbours across the English Channel were producing. We laughed at daft brand names on ‘That’s Life’,

The Not So Perfect 10: Forgotten Saturday Night Television Programmes

Recently, I have purchased a book entitled ‘The Encyclopaedia of Classic Saturday Night Television’. As well as mentioning the usual suspects (The Generation Game, Gladiators and Game For A Laugh) it also states (almost) every programme Bobby Davro appeared in and flops like Ice Warriors.

At Last! A ‘Friends’ for the Geek Generation

‘The Big Bang Theory’, Channel 4, Thursdays 2200 hours

The Not So Perfect 10: Hummable 1980s TV Themes

“If you’re looking for trouble… you’ve found the right place…” - Elvis Presley

Hello again, I’m back with some more fluff. As well as being an unrivalled source on the state of Dukinfield’s bus services,

Something to Cheer About This Christmas

East of the M60 Exclusive Review:

Countdown 2007 Grand Final, Friday 21 December 2007

Never mind special Christmas soap opera story lines, never mind all these ‘lets talk about how good the telly was in 1980′ type programmes, this Christmas period’s televisual treat started at 3.25pm on Channel 4.

Don’t Look Ethel…!

Setanta Shield, First Round, 25 October 2007

Stalybridge Celtic 0, Blyth Spartans 0 (AET Blyth Spartans win 4 - 3 on penalties)

A: This is your action news reporter coming to you live from the Setanta Shield First Round. Pardon me sir, do you see what happened?

B: Yeah I did. I saw a goalless draw taken to extra time and penalties with every ounce of drama you could think of. Four men ran on to the pitch from the Popular Side with 10 minutes to go, half a dozen teens had a fight just before extra time, and worse, the floodlights cut out during the penalty shoot out.

Today’s blog entry would have had a more mundane title like “Stalybridge Celtic on TV” had it not been for four streakers, in a game that was remembered most for anything other than the game itself.

The Not So Perfect 10: 2. Quiz shows that should be revived

Following ITV’s recent decision to bring back ‘Family Fortunes’ (with Vernon Kay as presenter), this has inspired me to construct a list of shows which I think should be brought back on UK television screens.

343 Service Saved

Speedwell Travel to run daytime 343 service

It was announced in this week’s Tameside Advertiser that the daytime 343 service will continue to after the 15 April 2007.

As stated elsewhere within this blog,

“Don’t be a Plonker if you can be a Stonker…”

Yes folks, it’s that time of the year again, ‘Comic Relief’.

What started off a ninety minute programme has mushroomed into an evening long telethon, with linked programmes.  For the purpose of this post, I would like to hear your memories of previous Comic Relief years.  I shall start off with my memories.

For me, 2001 was the best year, as I spent an hour outside the Stalybridge branch of Tescos, collecting for Comic Relief, dressed as an overweight Emily Howard lookalike!  Ten years earlier, I was at school, and took part in a ‘talent contest’ singing the then popular Right Said Fred song ‘I’m Too Sexy’, followed by ‘The Stonk’ by Hale and Pace.  In the same year, I brought the house down at the school hall with an impression of a washing machine for a version of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’, organised by some sixth formers.

For the next part of this post, I shall make reference to the Comic Relief songs.

My favourite was the first ever single for the said charity, ‘Living Doll’.  This was a version by Cliff Richard and The Young Ones (yes, Rik, Vyvian, Mike and Neil of the 1982 - 4 sitcom… heavv-vee!) from 1986.  The most cheesiest one has to be ‘The Stonk’ by Hale and Pace and the Stonkers (which was a more blatant single; a trend followed by Right Said Fred with ‘Stick It Out’).  This is due to the talent contest mentioned earlier.

The Singles (note, this is not a complete list; any additions welcome):

• 1986: ‘Living Doll’, Cliff Richard and the Young Ones;
• 1987-8: ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’, Mel (Smith) and Kim (Wilde);
• 1989: ‘Help’, Bananarama and La Na Ne Na Na Noo (a.k.a French and Saunders);
• 1991: ‘The Stonk’, Hale and Pace and the Stonkers;
• 1993: ‘Stick It Out’, Right Said Fred;
• 1997: ‘Mama/Who Do You Think You Are?’, The Spice Girls;
• 2007: ‘Walk This Way’, Girls Aloud.

Your comments please…

Confessions of a Bridget Jones Imitator

Robin Askwith Vs Tracey Temple

‘Confessions of a Diary Secretary’: ITV 1, TX 2100 hours

Last night I decided to watch the aforementioned programme on the 28th February 2007, based on the affair of Tracey Temple and John Prescott.

If broadcasters were looking for a way of doing a diary based programme (one-off drama or series), this was one example of how not to do one.

From the opening titles and captions, I thought ‘WTF’, this doesn’t look serious or refined enough. Wasting 90 precious minutes of this, the script was poorly written, lacking in real substance, and the programme had the cheek of classing itself as a comedy on the ‘End of Part One/Two/Three’ titles. Laughed? Only once! Before then, I was watching my ‘Only Fools and Horses’ DVD (’Danger UXD’ episode) which had infinitely more laughs per minute. A shorter running time would have probably helped.

I was disappointed to find it either lacked the dry humour of ‘The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole 13 3/4′ or the bawdy humour of ‘Confessions of a Driving Instructor’ (featuring Robin Askwith and Cherie Blair’s dad, Tony Booth) . I watched expecting a ‘Carry On’ style ‘nudge nudge, wink wink’ style comedy. Instead I got the filler bits between the Confessions of a Driving Instructor scenes at the golf course and the rugby match.

The result was a tawdry production lacking in humour and real substance.  Hasn’t the Right Honorable member for Hull East been shamed enough without this?  It tried to be Bridget Jones’ Diary and turned out to be Mr Bean’s on a bad day.  Oh, and they also had the cheek to put a ‘behind the scenes’ type programme on on ITV3 - as well as advertising to similar proportions as the Jamster Crazy Frog adverts did.

If I want to see bawdy/non PC comedy done properly, I would make a trip to my local DVD purveyor for a Carry On film or On The Buses.

Verdict: 25% (’Confessions of a Driving Instructor’ featuring Robin Askwith was much better, as was the Bridget Jones’ Diary film).