Traffic chaos, missing buses and the return of proper snowmen in the Tameside area
For most of us around the UK, this week’s weather has had a fundamental effect on our daily lives. Whether we were stuck on trains to and from the continent or walking to the railway station, we will have no doubt been affected by the lack of grit on the roads and pavements. Read the rest of this entry »
For the purpose of this Not So Perfect Ten, I have decided to focus on the best ten pieces of music featuring buses. This may include direct or indirect reference to buses in its lyrics, song title, or instrumental pieces.
First and foremost is a more obvious entry; The Who’s Magic Bus. There is no reference to defective services nor high bus fares, just a straightforward plea to board their Magic Bus. Both The Who’s tune and Magic Bus played a part in the early years of bus deregulation. The first Magic Bus service began on the 26 October 1986 in Glasgow. Using an AEC Routemaster in an early version of the Stagecoach livery, Brian Souter launched Magic Bus’ cheap and cheerful service taking fares whilst dressed in a rabbit suit!
The Who tune was adapted for a GM Buses advert. Shown in the run-up to deregulation in the Granada region, it cheerfully announced the dawn of GM Buses, ‘picking you up tomorrow as usual’. What happened on deregulation day and the day after seemed to be opposite. On the same day was the first televised Manchester Derby game, resulting in a sub-40,000 attendance (at the time, the lowest ever at Maine Road). The lure of Brian Moore/Martin Tyler or the fear of bus deregulation chaos? You decide.
The second is a surreal piece from Half Man Half Biscuit. On their most recent album CSI:Ambleside, Little in the Way of Sunshine is peppered with references to bus routes around Shropshire. Parts of the lyrics include advisory signs seen on buses.
From Shropshire to Salford, we see a different side to bus travel immortalised in Last Bus. Written by The Salford Jets in 1979, it is a wry observation and warning on boarding night buses in Greater Manchester. Recently, this track has been reissued as part of their ‘Greatest Hits’ album ‘Manchester Boys’. Headed by Rock Radio DJ Mike Sweeney, they are well worth seeing live. I saw them perform an acoustic set at The Railway in Greenfield recently and they were great.
On the B Side of The Human League’s comeback single Tell Me When is The Bus to Crookes. This is a track about the 51 service to that part of Sheffield which begins at Gleadless Town End. At present, First South Yorkshire operates this service (please tell me if anyone knows different).
Another good bus related song also released in 1995 was Tour Jacket with Detachable Sleeves. As part of the Half Man Half Biscuit album Some Call It Godcore, the song starts well with a few friends going to a gig at the local polytechnic. That is until they find it was full of tribute acts, finishing with a bus journey from Hell, ending in an accident. There is reference to the 71 and 72 bus routes from Liverpool to Heswall via Birkenhead, operated by First Crosville.
Madness’ Cardiac Arrest is more to do with a hellish commute to work. In the narrative of this song, a time pressed commuter feels frustrated by the slowness of his bus. Fearing a late arrival, he gets wound up, hence the “I wish this bus would get a move on; driver’s taking his time”. It almost reminds of some of my bus based commutes from Hell in Greater Manchester. At least he had a conductor (as seen in the video) aboard his AEC Routemaster rather than a flustered driver trying to balance promptness with encapsulating weekly or monthly bus tickets.
The ninth one has nothing to do with buses whatsoever. Lucky Stars by Dean Friedman was his biggest and best known UK chart hit. The conversation with uncredited vocalist Denise Marca could have been anywhere other than aboard the Hale Barns Express. Its link with buses was Greater Manchester Transport’s ‘Sounds in Motion’ experiment, as (according to anecdotal evidence; my parents) it seemed to have been the only tune played!
The purpose of GMT’s ‘Sounds in Motion’ was to generate extra advertising revenue whilst keeping its passengers aboard the top deck entertained. 8 minutes per hour was allocated to advertising, with 52 minutes for music. If anybody else could remember ‘Sound in Motion’ (and as to whether they played anything by Supertramp or any other artiste(s) besides Dean Friedman), feel free to comment.
My final one is Bus Stop by the Hollies which is a gentle observational piece of waiting for a bus by the great Graham Gouldman of 10cc fame. It paints a picture of the boredom endured by passengers at Ashton bus station whose 346 is forever delayed by the schools traffic.
Any further suggestions are welcome. Cushty!
S.V., 17 July 2009
OK, not quite.
A nice surprise came to me this morning in one of the free papers on the 220 service towards Stalybridge railway station. I was reading the Metro when turning towards ‘The Ridiculant’ page I found that one of my side projects was listed.
As advertised elsewhere within East of the M60, I created a Google map on the places namechecked by Half Man Half Biscuit entitled (ahem) ‘Half Map Half Biscuit’ (don’t you just love the wordplay).
Top of the list under a section entitled ‘Check These Ones Out’ was… Half Map Half Biscuit!
Fame at last I thought. Quoting from the Metro, The Ridiculant stated:
“At long last someone has created a Google map of every place ever mentioned in a Half Man Half Biscuit song. You young ‘uns probably don’t even know who the band HMHB are, do you? Shame on you.”
Click on the link to The Ridiculant to see the map itself, some comments and other goodies.
At this time of writing, some 6,927 people have seen the map – not bad for a Google map anyway, but one that has only been up for one day more than a month! Feel free to contribute the map itself. Please note that entries may be edited for spelling and grammatical errors.
S.V., 18 February 2009
Update on Ewing School.
Some time ago, East of the M60 reflected on the ‘grotesque shambles’ of Manchester City Council’s proposed closure of Ewing School. Though a local Liberal Democrat newsletter exposed this at the end of last year, the story has finally made the Manchester Evening News (Wednesday 11 February 2009). East of the M60’s story was released into cyberspace nearly a month before the MEN’s account of event.
Since Manchester Withington MP John Leech proposed an Early Day Motion for the retention of Ewing School, an online petition has attracted over 650 signatures. This is in addition to the 2,500 signatures gathered at a rally in West Didsbury.
The loss of Ewing School and the council’s proposals are tantamount to “inclusion by isolation”. Think of the pupils who will have made friends at West Didsbury, only to find he/she has been moved to Moston or Wythenshawe. For the good of fellow auties, aspies and SPLDers like myself, sign the online petition as soon as possible. In the words of Del Trotter, ‘You Know It Makes Sense’!
S.V., 11 February 2009
“…I like to flush the demons from out of your mind…”
With only days to go until Half Man Half Biscuit’s Manchester gig (Academy, 30 January 2009), East of the M60 is proud to announce a new project.
Entitled ‘Half Map Half Biscuit’, this ongoing project is a map of the places namechecked in Half Man Half Biscuit songs. Each place is pinpointed with a quote from the song it featured in.
The map is a user generated map created using Google Maps. All you have to do is go into maps.google.co.uk, zoom your Google map towards the UK, click on the ‘My Maps’ link and enter ‘half map half biscuit’ into Google and click ‘Search Maps’.
Enjoy,
Stuart.
Ten buses reviewed and the best places to sit on board
In nearly 30 years of travelling around Greater Manchester by bus from babe in arms to full fare paying passenger I have boarded more than my fair share of GMT standard buses from Leyland Atlanteans to Dennis Dominators. Read the rest of this entry »
Out on the road with Donna Williams in Burnley and Aintree.
Friday 19th September 2008 will go down as one of my greatest days in the near three decades of my existence on this planet of ours. Read the rest of this entry »
A West Didsbury special school comes of age
The year 1968 was best remembered for Manchester United being the first English team to lift the European Cup, Read the rest of this entry »
On ITV2
Several years back, we used to have a jolly old pop at what daft stuff our neighbours across the English Channel were producing. We laughed at daft brand names on ‘That’s Life’, Read the rest of this entry »
Having focused on the things I have most missed about buses in the Greater Manchester area, this topic focuses on the things which nark me off the most. Read the rest of this entry »
How the local bus (almost) saved me from commuting worries
In the last two weeks, most of us UK residents will have known about the flood affecting the North West and Yorkshire areas. This has obviously had a profound effect on the railways within Lancashire and Yorkshire Read the rest of this entry »
Christmas is coming, repeats are fast looming, as people in Argos are still queueing and awaiting their number – some twenty minutes later…
As eventual as death and taxation, the terrestrial television will face another repetition of Bonds from Moore to Dalton, and furniture adverts. Read the rest of this entry »
600 more face court for feet on seats
Is dirtying a train seat as heinous a crime as murder, rape, assault or robbery? In the eyes of one rail franchise, this seems to be the case. Read the rest of this entry »
The joys of composing a mixtape
It is hard to believe that the compact cassette format is over 40 years old. Invented by Philips in 1963, it was, in conjunction with the Sony Walkman, the iPod of its day by the late ’70s and early ’80s. Read the rest of this entry »
Yes folks, it’s that time of the year again, ‘Comic Relief’.
What started off a ninety minute programme has mushroomed into an evening long telethon, with linked programmes. For the purpose of this post, I would like to hear your memories of previous Comic Relief years. I shall start off with my memories.
For me, 2001 was the best year, as I spent an hour outside the Stalybridge branch of Tescos, collecting for Comic Relief, dressed as an overweight Emily Howard lookalike! Ten years earlier, I was at school, and took part in a ‘talent contest’ singing the then popular Right Said Fred song ‘I’m Too Sexy’, followed by ‘The Stonk’ by Hale and Pace. In the same year, I brought the house down at the school hall with an impression of a washing machine for a version of ‘Whose Line Is It Anyway?’, organised by some sixth formers.
For the next part of this post, I shall make reference to the Comic Relief songs.
My favourite was the first ever single for the said charity, ‘Living Doll’. This was a version by Cliff Richard and The Young Ones (yes, Rik, Vyvian, Mike and Neil of the 1982 – 4 sitcom… heavv-vee!) from 1986. The most cheesiest one has to be ‘The Stonk’ by Hale and Pace and the Stonkers (which was a more blatant single; a trend followed by Right Said Fred with ‘Stick It Out’). This is due to the talent contest mentioned earlier.
The Singles (note, this is not a complete list; any additions welcome):
Your comments please…
Before I begin this posting, I must point out that this posting is not going to be some fairy tale of two goats in the Ilkeston area.
This time seventeen years ago, I was staying at a farm between Heanor and Ilkeston. This was with my primary school at the time, and part of the five day holiday involved helping out on the farm from milking goats to mucking out.
On land once owned by the Miller Mundy family, Home Farm in Shipley is part of the Shipley Country Park. On one side was the now closed American Adventure theme park and the remains of Shipley Hall. On the other was Osborne’s lake, nearest to Heanor.
In 1990, when I went, most of Home Farm was used for farming holidays. Under the name of ‘Farmcraft’, families and school parties were encourage to muck out the goat pens and milk goats, as well as learn about the history of the Miller Mundy family. The hubris of Home Farm was a square, where in front of the entrance were kitchens and dining facilities. On the left hand side was the main goat pen, a smaller goat pen, and four pig sties. On the right hand was living accommodation, horse stables and a separate goat pen. At the front was further accommodation for human visitors, and the second part of the main goat pen. Behind the pig sties were rabbit hutches and a barn which was the preserve of Bully and (how original) Bull. Behind the main farm was a water tower and the former dairy. This was used as a gift shop.
Human accommodation blocks were named after rivers in Derbyshire, such as ‘Derwent’, ‘Soar’ and ‘Erewash’. I, along with three others stayed in ‘Soar’, overlooking the road into Mapperley and Heanor.
The routine involved getting up early [0700 hours] for breakfast (no change there; I did just that in 1990 as I do now for work in 2007), feeding the animals and feeding myself. After the humans’ breakfast came the mucking out duties – which seemed a better alternative to the washing up. After that we would go out for the rest of the day till there evening feeding session.
My favourite part of the holiday was working with the animals, milking the goats. Though dirty work, it was a change from seeing my more mundane surroundings – and certainly a change from my current job, in a city centre office block. The country park itself was lovely and peaceful, despite being a few minutes away from the A6007 Ilkeston Road and A609 Derby Road.
Within full view of the remains of Shipley Hall was the American Adventure theme park. Both Farmcraft and the American Adventure theme park had featured on children’s television programmes – both presented by Ross King between 1988 – 90. The former attraction, where I stayed, appeared on ‘The 8.15 From Manchester’ a Summer Saturday morning magazine programme on BBC1 (the Autumn/Winter equivalent that year was ‘Going Live’). The latter was used for ‘Young Krypton’, a children’s version of ‘The Krypton Factor’, between 1988 – 89 presented by Ross King.
If you click on this link below, you will find a picture of Home Farm itself. To the right hand side of the circular tower was/is the Soar apartment where I stayed for five days in 1990.
Home Farm, Shipley, Derbyshire
S.V., 14th March 2007
Has anybody had what I would call a ‘Year Zero Moment’?
A Year Zero Moment relates to a time where one’s self realisation after several years had finally paid off. Did anything change for the better? Did you find your inner peace and did anything go upwards thereafter?
Four years to the day I began this post [28th November 2002], was mine. The most part of 2002 was about gaining self realisation and acceptance. It was at that year I realised who I was. It was then I started being ‘Stuart’ rather than some accepted form of ‘normality’, which made me seem more acceptable to the wider world.
In February of that year, I heard a word for the first time in several years: ‘autism’. Having tried to fit in elsewhere through this pastiche of normal, I started borrowing books on the subject and related disorders. Before recently, I too had, like several others been fed the media version of this lifelong developmental disorder. These are the special interests, movements (stimming), savant skills and being ‘trapped’ in a world of one’s own.
A meeting with a National Autistic Society employment agency was the watershed moment. In the last three months prior to then, I had read several books on autism spectrum disorders and visited numerous websites on the subject. On mentioning my interview with one of my relatives, she was – by coincidence – reading an article on Asperger’s syndrome – and thought “That’s Stuart!” Before then, Tony Attwood’s first book on the subject made me think “Yes!” that’s me all along.
It seemed as if an answer had been found for my (then) 23 years, which reduced me to tears of relief. I thought: ‘At last, this explains why I seemed different to most others’. My diagnosis of Semantic Pragmatic Language Disorder in 1986 was one reason. Was there another?
What has happened since them? In that time, I tried (and failed) to seek a professional diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome, or other ASD (though a proud SPLD-er). This is due to its co-morbidity with SPLD. I had also created my own website with examples of artwork and poetry, done talks, written articles on Semantic Pragmatic Language Disorder and this very blog. For me, I have experienced more activity in the last four years than the previous twenty three!
Stuart.
