The Not So Perfect 10: Forgotten Saturday Night Television Programmes

Recently, I have purchased a book entitled ‘The Encyclopaedia of Classic Saturday Night Television’. As well as mentioning the usual suspects (The Generation Game, Gladiators and Game For A Laugh) it also states (almost) every programme Bobby Davro appeared in and flops like Ice Warriors.

The book is a rivetting read, though I would consider it a little pricey for £9.99. I paid 60% of that price purchasing my copy from Amazon. So far, in a post-traumatic sense, it brought home the worst excesses of TVS’ version of ‘Summertime Special’ from Bournemouth, ‘Simply The Best’ a pretty awful show (based on the French game ‘Intercities’) and ‘Ultra Quiz’ (yikes - Jonathan King).

This book has also brought me out of an hiatus of blogging and inspired me to concoct a new ‘Not So Perfect 10′. This one lists 10 Saturday night programmes not included in the book which we would love to remember and forget simultaneously.

1. Takeover Bid;
2. Tenball;
3. Full Swing;
4. Something For The Weekend;
5. Happy Families;
6. Last Chance Lottery;
7. That’s Showbusiness;
8. Endurance UK;
9. Child’s Play;
10. Beadle’s Hot Shots.

For my first one, Takeover Bid was a quiz series anchored by Bruce Forsyth which ran for one season on BBC One during the summer months. Contestants we encouraged to bid their way to a star prize.

The second one, Tenball ran in some ITV regions for 7 shows from the 8th April 1995. This was a curious pool and snooker hybrid involving professional snooker players. Philip Schofield was the presenter of this series with a glossy set not far removed from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? three years later.

Whereas Big Break was a snooker based quiz show, BBC inflicted the same treatment on golf in 1996. Hosted by Jimmy Tarbuck, Full Swing aired in the summer of 1996 this pitted contestants against professional golf players. Novel aspects of the show included a virtual computerised golf course and a crazy golf style course in the studio. As with Tenball, this only ran for one season.

In the mid 1980s, a quickfire comedy show such as ‘Copycats’ would dominate the early part of ITV’s Saturday night schedules. Continuing this tradition was Something For The Weekend. Aired in 1989 on BBC One, this like ITV’s ‘Copycats’ relied on quickfire humour with emerging comedians. Two of which, Susie Blake (who previously appeared on Victoria Wood: As Seen on TV) and James Gaddas went on to feature in Coronation Street, both working (though not at the same time) in the Rovers’ Return.

Though the popularity of ITV’s ‘Gladiators’ was unassailable by 1996, BBC launched a Gladiators spoiler by the name of Happy Families. Hosted by Sarah Greene and Andrew O’ Connor, this gameshow pitted family against family on obstacles more akin to It’s A Knockout rather than ITV’s popular show at Birmingham NEC Arena. Highlights of the game show involved a cycle monorail and the ascent up ‘Sticky Mountain’, a velcro mountain of sorts.

With BBC One being the sole broadcaster of the live National Lottery draw (under its National Lottery Live/Big Ticket monikers), Channel 4 was the only commercial broadcaster to have made a lottery related programme. Under the Last Chance Lottery, Patrick Kielty’s quirky show was a lighter hearted antidote to the Beeb’s high gloss production. Filmed live, the programme also had the same week’s numbers though a few minutes later. The programme is best remembered for Sacha Distel singing the Spice Girls song ‘Wannabe’, and adopting Radiohead’s ‘Creep’ as its closing theme tune.

A staple of early evening Saturday programming on BBC One often included a light hearted quiz show of some description. Though Saturdays were more remembered for ‘Bob’s Full House’ and ‘The Generation Game’, former Radio 1 DJ Mike Smith hosted for a good 6 years That’s Showbusiness. Featuring celebrity contestants instead of viewers, this was similar to ‘Telly Addicts’, though explored other aspects beyond the cathode ray tube.

At the opposite end of the scale (closer to pub chucking out time), then fledgling satellite channel Challenge TV brought us Endurance UK. Though ITV tried and failed with a more sanitised equivalent of the Japanese programme [Ultra Quiz], Challenge’s studio based affair was raucous and included challenges worthy of ‘The Word’s’ ‘The Hopefuls’ slot. Hosted by Paul Ross and seen by about a dozen viewers, he was supported by hostess and gong banger Olivia (later Tara), and Hoki and Coki, two Japanese male hosts.

In 1984, we as a nation (me and my family excepted) took to our hearts a programme where the stars of the show were primary school children trying their best to describe everyday objects. With two pairs in competition (one celebrity, one nonentity), Child’s Play rumbled around the early evening slot sometime before ‘3-2-1′ or ‘The Price Is Right’. The only thing which tickled me was the sampled ‘whoops’ designed to censor the object in question. Other than that, my family considered this programme as exploitative - a lesson which was learnt 12 years later when Ronnie Corbett’s ‘Small Talk’ was decommissioned (though this programme is now being rerun on Challenge) - and one which should have be learned on the axing of ‘Minipops’. Yet 15 million of us UK viewers lapped this up.

The final programme is sadly one of the late great Jeremy Beadle’s lesser work, but one of his best. Following the success of ‘You’ve Been Framed’ and ‘Beadle’s About’ came Beadle’s Hotshots. Launched in 1996, this programme is a probable precursor to YouTube and other video file sharing sites. Viewers were encouraged to submit their sketches and share them with 12 - 15 million others. My favourite clips involved the dozy DIYer who was a virtual clone of Kenny Everett’s Reg Prescott character, and the Gladiators spoof. Several years later, Challenge did a programme called ‘House of Games’, which was - Gladiators meets The Krypton Factor and Finders Keepers using a common and garden house!

With the possible exception of Beadle’s Hot Shots, I pretty much doubt as to whether any of the formats would stand the test of time today.  Firstly, there is no potential for expensive premium rate phone lines (though Tenball’s set designer Andy Walmsley created a similar set for ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?’).  Full Swing was a curio and I felt one series was enough.  Instead of being on the same pedestal as ‘The Generation Game’, it is one of these little heard of ‘Second Division’ quiz shows like the tennis themed version of ‘Masterteam’ [Matchpoint] and ‘Steal’.

Beadle’s programme ushered in an age which gave us YouTube and Sumo.tv several years later.  Who knows?  Had it not been for the internet, the star of the show would never be you.  Thank heavens for video sharing websites and cheaper camcorders.

Happy Families’ and Full Swing’s legacy ushered in a new age of indescribably preposterous game shows (ergo Full Swing, Shafted, Pets Win Prizes and Goldenballs).

S.V., 01 - 02 April 2008