Several months ago, being one of 13,500 regular monthly users of Stalybridge station, I was getting cheesed off with the amount of delays on the Trans Pennine Express. Being that I was bored of the free newspapers, and heard enough announcements (or excuses) in my lifetime, I hit upon this madcap idea.
In recent times, I had seen lotto games, similar to a football card which used office buzzwords like ‘Touch Base’, ‘Thinking outside the box’ and ‘Ball Park Estimate’. I then thought: ‘what about the announcements used to describe late running trains?’
So on that dull November in 2005, Rail Excuse Bingo was born.
As with normal bingo games, commuters would circle their desired squares. Instead of ‘Clickety Click, Class 56′, ‘leaves on the line’, ’signal failure’ and ’staff shortage’ would feature. A line could win you a free day saver ticket (in Greater Manchester, the GM Rail Ranger). A full house on the card could win you a season ticket between any two of your desired points (though to a maximum 30 miles round trip, so no-one can screw the railways requesting a season ticket for travel from Littlehampton to Thurso).
Money could be channelled towards passenger user groups such as the Penistone Line Partnership, and feature either as a one off game for Christmas, or to commemorate a new fares revision.
Sadly the game can only work effectively at staffed stations, unstaffed stations with the dulcet tones of Phil Sayer, or on board trains with public address announcements.
Please note, this article is meant to be taken as tongue in cheek, and that the man behind ‘East of the M60′ understands that rail companies do not really like to break bad news, nor purposely inconvenience its passengers.
Stuart Vallantine.
