The 50 Worst UK Television Programmes

This week’s Radio Times includes a rundown of the worst fifty programmes, according to Guardian journalist John Naughton:

50 Worst UK TV Programmes (top 20)

Quite rightly, ‘Minipops’ is on this list of shame, along with ‘Eldorado’ and ‘3-2-1′ (though good in a strange sort of way due to its sheer naffness). In my opinion, I think ‘Celebrity Love Island’, ‘Where the Heart Is’, ‘The Mint’ and ‘Duck Patrol’ should have been added to this. I would say he was harsh on ‘Going for Gold’, ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ and ‘Wacaday’. All three of these programmes hold fond memories for me. In fact, ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ was one of the first programmes I actually loved watching. Wacaday’s only crime was inflicting Timmy Mallett on a nation (no bad thing, having been popular in Greater Manchester on the late great Piccadilly Radio, 261 metres MW). As for Going for Gold, this quiz show should be revived along with Masterteam, Knightmare and Blockbusters. I used to like the school holidays, because I could watch Going for Gold and How We Used To Live in the half terms.

Quickfire Balls does deserve inclusion, along with all these other initiatives to try and extort money from us via our cathode ray tube/plasma/TFT screen instead of spending it on quality programming. Like ‘The Mint’.

This link will take you to the full fifty worst programmes.  Debate amongst yourselves to your heart’s content:

http://www.u.tv/newsroom/indepth.asp?id=10996&pt=e

Sandwich Shops: Your favourites

Party People! Your favourite sandwich shops or other purveyors of that high margin fast turnover food stuff invented for eating and playing cards to, please. On Oxford Street, near St. Peter’s Square in Manchester is a good value butty shop, ‘Café Roma’. Their Tuna salads sell for half the price of a well known franchise’s equivalent, with fresher salad at that. I’ve been the proud customer of this sandwich shop for over two years. The staff are friendly and the service is speedy.

I would love to hear your comments your comments on your favourite sandwich shops.  They can be anywhere within or outside the Greater Manchester area.  You could also state your favourite sandwich.  If you are in central Manchester, I recommend the tuna salad from Café Roma, which is best enjoyed on a 12″ baguette.

Stuart Vallantine.

Rail Excuse Bingo

Several months ago, being one of 13,500 regular monthly users of Stalybridge station, I was getting cheesed off with the amount of delays on the Trans Pennine Express. Being that I was bored of the free newspapers, and heard enough announcements (or excuses) in my lifetime, I hit upon this madcap idea.

In recent times, I had seen lotto games, similar to a football card which used office buzzwords like ‘Touch Base’, ‘Thinking outside the box’ and ‘Ball Park Estimate’. I then thought: ‘what about the announcements used to describe late running trains?’

So on that dull November in 2005, Rail Excuse Bingo was born.

As with normal bingo games, commuters would circle their desired squares. Instead of ‘Clickety Click, Class 56′, ‘leaves on the line’, ’signal failure’ and ’staff shortage’ would feature. A line could win you a free day saver ticket (in Greater Manchester, the GM Rail Ranger). A full house on the card could win you a season ticket between any two of your desired points (though to a maximum 30 miles round trip, so no-one can screw the railways requesting a season ticket for travel from Littlehampton to Thurso).

Money could be channelled towards passenger user groups such as the Penistone Line Partnership, and feature either as a one off game for Christmas, or to commemorate a new fares revision.

Sadly the game can only work effectively at staffed stations, unstaffed stations with the dulcet tones of Phil Sayer, or on board trains with public address announcements.

Please note, this article is meant to be taken as tongue in cheek, and that the man behind ‘East of the M60′ understands that rail companies do not really like to break bad news, nor purposely inconvenience its passengers.

Stuart Vallantine.

Bus Stations from Hell

From several years experience of using public transport, I have come across the most sublime and the ridiculous bus termini throughout the UK.

My favourite bus stations are in Huddersfield, Hyde, Leeds, Middleton (the new one near the Arches shopping centre), Chorley and Bury Interchange. Though the latter is rather mediocre, Bury Interchange holds a special place being the point of interchange between the late lamented 400 Trans-Lancs Express service and the East Lancashire Railway. Huddersfield is one of my favourite bus stations owned by Metro West Yorkshire PTE, using a single terminal layout, due to the complex being well lit and ventilated. My other reason for favouring this terminus is real time information. Though common in West Yorkshire bus stations, Greater Manchester is light years behind (other than the odd installation on Quality Bus Corridors).

Sadly, the purpose of this post is not for praising the best bus stations. This concentrates on the hell holes, the vandalised and forgotten. My candidates for Bus Stations from Hell include:

• Radcliffe (pre-2003 design);
• Great Yarmouth (underneath the Market Gates Shopping Centre; dimly lit and user unfriendly);
• Nelson (under the Arndale Centre car park);
• Manchester, Chorlton Street Bus Station (Mark III, pre-2002 refurbishment; as above, under a car park);
• Lancaster (PFI project; concourse too small for intense usage though operational sound);
• Hednesford (ageing shelters and vandalism; lost potential; wrong side of the railway station);
• Boston (too far from the town centre, featureless).

Here are the not so magnificent seven bus stations. I would be happy to hear your comments or further additions to this hall of shame.

Stuart Vallantine

East of the M60: The official blog of Stuart Vallantine

Hello all, and welcome to this fragment of cyberspace, a.k.a the Stuart Vallantine blogging experience.  Within this site you will see comments on a variety of subject from the man himself.  Subjects will range from SPLD to the madness in my area (a.k.a local issues affecting Tameside). Be prepared to see the odd geeky reference to Greater Manchester Transport, Supertramp albums and Commodore 64 games.  This is a warning as well as a unique selling point.

Remember to be on your best behaviour and enjoy yourselves (”it’s later than you think…” - Prince Buster).

Stuart Vallantine